Third Time’s a Charm???

This is my first week at Weight Watchers this go-round. I have been here twice before. The first time I was ridiculously successful, losing 105lb in 10 months. Then I took a break from the program while I went on a long-distance walk. I gained on my walk but nothing too drastic (for me anyway), but for some reason it was really, really difficult to jump back in to WW. I wanted to, I missed everyone at my meetings and I missed feeling good about how I ate, but I just couldn’t bring myself to go back. After a few months I finally made it in, but didn’t stay long. I think I went 2 or 3 weeks before I stopped again. Why? I couldn’t say exactly.

I found out pretty recently that I have bipolar 2 disorder. One of the things that means for me is that I sink into depression pretty regularly. One thing I’ve started to learn is that I have to jump and make good choices when I’m in a good head-space. This past week has been pretty great for me! I don’t know if it’s the new meds taking effect or if I am just finally out of my last depressive phase. Either way, I’ve been unnaturally productive, cleaning my whole house, writing songs, putting together a puzzle, getting overdue work done.

I’ve been feeling pretty down on myself lately, in part because of yet another failed attempt at romance, and I wanted to do something to feel better about myself. I bought some new make-up, a cute sweater and a necklace I’ve been wanting. I knew these things were just temporary though, and I wanted a long term solution. I wanted to be more in-charge of my life, more confident, working actively toward a better me.

My productive mood combined with this want led me to pull out the damned credit card and sign back up. The next morning I left my house at 6:00am to walk the 3 miles to my meeting. Back to my old (good) routine.

I have gained 75lb from my lowest weight and I have crept back up too close to 300lb for comfort. I am very optimistic that I can get back into the plan this time, but definitely have the fear that it’ll be a repeat of my last failed attempt. I have to focus on how good it feels to be on plan and in charge of my food (and not the other way around).

I want to make this a clean start. I will leave my old stats up but start fresh with new numbers. I will still refer to the old ones, but this is a new start, I don’t want to combine it with my last attempts. I hope to be as successful as my first go-round and then to stay for lifetime!

Best wishes ❤

Gen